Take off your sunglasses and open the drapes! – about being open to change
Why do we resist change so much??
Why is it that we tend to shy away from changing something in our life that makes us feel sad and miserable? Is it because we do not dare trust in our own observations and daily feelings of dullness in our life? Is it because we do not trust our own gut feeling that that particular situation or relationship simply isn't good for us? Or maybe we feel that we have to just accept certain things - that we have no influence over what goes on in our life?
Feeling helpless and simply not knowing how to change things is very debilitating and can keep us stuck in ruts we could actually get out of with minimum work - if only we see the signs, and do something about out or get help in seeing what we can do about it.
Some signs that a change may be imminent and important to you:
- Feeling continuously numb, sad or miserable.
- Thinking, "Well, this is just the way my life is."
- Feeling you have no control of your life.
- Being afraid of making an even bigger mess of something already existing.
- Thinking it is less painful to stay in the pain they are in, rather than to go through it and come out the other side combined with a fear of what is on the other side.
Do you know of these feelings? Do you know anyone with these feelings?
What can you do about it?
I know these questions are very blunt and to the point - and I am also aware that decades of psychological studies and research have provided many answers and reasons - often very deep and complicated answers - to most of them. I acknowledge that we are made up of layers of our thoughts, beliefs, experiences, reactions, feelings etc. etc. - and I acknowledge that all these 'layers' give rise to these doubts and fears in our mind and body.
I empathise with these doubts and fears. I know many of them. I have felt them.
Living behind sunglasses and drapes
BUT... I am also aware that if you are feeling stuck and just put your sunglasses on and shut the drapes to the outside world, then you are living in a way that will only shrink you. You will not sprout the life spark and soul that is inside you. You will not water and get to see all your possibilities - some of which you may not even be aware exist within you. And you will not nurture the garden that is within you, waiting for you to take the first step, however small that may be.
Metaphorically and realistically speaking, there are many things we don't get to see if we walk through life with dark sunglasses on and the drapes shut. No light can come in to shine on and show us all the opportunities we hold inside, that are locked away in a box within us.
But the key for that box is also within us. And help is around us - to find that key and open the box.
Don't underestimate the power of focus and intention
Even if nothing seems like it could be an opportunity for you, then know that by focusing on what you want and going with what resonates with you, can set a change in motion. Your change starts from within you.
Your focus and intention is like a camera lense. When you zoom in on something you want, everything that you don't want dissipates, dissolves, falls away from your experience.
Whatever you focus on whether it is a situation, or a person, or a relationship, will reveal more and more details of itself, because you give it attention and focus. You deserve all things wonderful. Give yourself the gift of opening your eyes. Open yourself and your senses to changes to turn your life around.
Can you see a pattern in your life experience?
If you are feeling unhappy or unsettled in a relationship, a work place, or a location, then go ahead - take off your sunglasses and open the curtains. Maybe it feels right for you to walk away from your situation, maybe it feels right to find a new place, make a fresh start - or maybe you feel you need to stay and see if there is anything you can change about your own ways, about how you interact with others, how you communicate, how you delegate, what words come out of your mouth, how you put your ideas into action, what ideas you feed, what beliefs you hold about yourself … all these things play a part in how you feel - and you are able to do something about them.
If you bump into the same challenge repeatedly, as if your life follows a pattern that just keeps going on and on - then you can change it. You don’t have to try and change your inner core, your inner values or beliefs - because they are perfect as they are - but you can work on the outer layers like your thoughts and beliefs that put yourself down, or minimise your own worth, or make you feel like you are owed something, or make you feel that you are more than others … those are the things you can look at. Are any of those beliefs or thought forms about yourself present in your life? The good news is that you can make changes.
∞
You are your inner core. Your inner beautiful core with your unique gifts is there inside you, and that core is who you really are. All the other elements like the beliefs and thoughts that weigh you down and do not breed something positive for neither you nor others around you, are just like a coat you are wearing. A coat that has accumulated in childhood, previous life experiences etc. But no matter what coat you are wearing - and are consciously aware of in this lifetime - it does not take anything away from your very inner core. In your core lie all your talents, your gifts, your skills, your compassion, your love for life. This is what you want to access and bring out. You will know when it is time to leave the coat behind.
What makes you smile blissfully even when no one is around?
Go do something that makes you feel good. Something that makes you smile at yourself - even when no one else is around; do something that benefits you and also benefits others around you. And then keep doing that, while you keep your eyes and other senses open, the sunglasses off and the drapes open. Go meet your opportunities and stay focused on the ones that make your core respond in joyfulness.
Marianne Johansen, March 2019
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photo credit: Julia Kouzenkov/Unsplash.com
